Monday, April 14, 2008

Checking out the real estate

In the market for a new home. Came across this lovely gem. My mother is worried we'll be living beyond our means, but I think we will do just nicely. With the new baby on the way, my income will most certainly be raised. Those suckers down at the Welfare office! Ha! I'll keep them believing I'm poor as poor can be, all the while living high on the hog! Up yours Ronald Regan.

know where to spend your stamps

This is your friend YalYinShun. He works on 23 and 9th. He accepts food stamps for beer. It will cost you $10.00 in food stamps for a $5.00 six pack, but ahhh the benefits outweigh the cost. Can you say "Poor mans vacation"?

Gas prices just went down

For me and my family it did anyway. I giggle every time I see one of those "locked" gas covers. When I get my check on the first I'm gonna buy a electric one.

Found my new car

I was walking home from happy hour at the Cloud 9 Bar and Grill on 53 street, when low and behold what do I see? My next car! Won't Mr. Ronald Regan be flippin' in his grave when I get behind the wheel of this beauty! My friend Teniqua asks me don't I feel guilty drivin something like this when Corporations are going out of business left and right...I says No.

I'm pregnant Again. Number 18

I was in the 7 11 buying me another Colt 45 with my food stamps (the Indian clerk on 2nd shift accepts food stamps for everything!) when I passed by the home pregnancy tests. I hadn't been able to keep down my Lobster tails for the past couple checks now, so that set off warning bells. Sure enough, I shoved that test down my pants, pissed on the stick at the Citgo on 49th, and Yep it was positive. You do understand what this means don't you? $10.02 more a month! I think I shall name this one Mealticket. Ain't he/she/it adorable?! Just like Daddy, pulling on that J. Not sure if I'll mention that to my new boyfriend, he somehow got the notion this baby's his, LMFAO! If I play my cards right I'll be able to collect child support from 2 idiots. Mental Note: Ask for last names.